Changing your limiting beliefs requires a willingness to have faith that you are NOT dumb, challenged, irresponsible, weak-willed, or unlucky – even though your experiences thus far seem to have “proven” those things as being true.
But here is the good news: if you suspend your beliefs and dare to hope that maybe your impressions are false, and once you start taking actions that correspond with more positive beliefs, your results will change.
ATTITUDE AND SUCCESS
If you think of success as a recipe with carefully measured portions of specific ingredients, attitude is one of those vital ingredients that give life to your concoction. It is like yeast added to a bread recipe to make the bread rise. Without yeast, your bread will end up flat, dense, and hard as a rock. Likewise, a negative attitude will deflate your efforts to be successful.
This is because a positive attitude gives you the ability to overlook setbacks and continue toward your goals. It gives you the courage to tackle challenges and believe in yourself. It helps you keep obstacles in perspective, rather than feeling intimidated and giving up.
There is this famous quote by Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or think you cannot, you are right.” It is all about perception.
If you knew for sure that there was no possible way for you to accomplish a goal, would you still try? Of course not. What would be the point?
If, on the other hand, you believed in your heart that you could achieve something, you would be excited to get started, and nothing would deter you. Your attitude is what makes the difference in these two scenarios.
Developing a positive attitude is a simple matter of consistently training your brain to see the positive side of every situation. Rather than feeling powerless against challenges, affirm that you can get through them. Rather than letting other people determine what you are capable of – determine it yourself.
THERE IS NO TRY, ONLY DO
We often think of failure as the inability to accomplish a certain objective. We give it our best shot and the results are less than favourable. We have failed. But does not have to be the end of the story. We can consider it a failure ONLY if we stop trying after we experience the less than favourable result. If we keep working at it, we might turn a “failure” into a success.
Do yourself a favor and change your definition of failure right now. Here is your new definition of failure: “Not having a plan, not working a plan, and giving up too soon.”
If you have “failed” at anything in the past, be honest with yourself: how many times did you try? Did you give it a halfhearted effort and then give up when it seemed too hard? Did you let yourself become intimidated by challenges, or disempowered by negative comments from friends and colleagues?
Though you may believe that it was out of your hands, it is important to understand something: You made a choice to fail. You gave up. You stopped trying. It does not matter what the reasons were, even though they may have seemed perfectly logical at the time. The fact is, you allowed external conditions to erode your motivation and determination, and you threw in the towel.
If you made the choice to fail, you can also make the choice to succeed. Whether you decide to pick up an old dream and dust it off or choose an exciting new path to travel, the outcome is within your control. With the right attitude, focused action steps, and a solemn vow to never give up, success will be yours.
Do not approach your goals with an attitude of “try,” only an attitude of DO. “Trying” means you are not going to give it your all. It means you will keep going until the going gets too tough. It means you are giving yourself a way out in case you grow weary of the battle. It means you are giving yourself permission to surrender to mediocrity.
“Doing” means that failure is not an option. It means that you vow to give every ounce of blood, sweat and tears you have available because you believe in your dreams that much. It means that you cannot and will not accept defeat because the stakes are too high. It means that you are willing to work as long and as hard as necessary to achieve the outcome you desire, even if it takes years. This is your life and you must decide that there is no going back, no giving up, no giving in – NO MATTER WHAT.
THE JOYS AND EVILS OF EXPECTATIONS
Expectations can work for us, or against us. Expecting the best in every situation keeps us feeling motivated and passionate about our goals. Conversely, expecting immediate results from our efforts can make us feel frustrated and disappointed when it does not happen.
The tricky thing about expectations is that we may not always be aware of them on a conscious level. At some point during the pursuit of our goals we suddenly find ourselves feeling angry, resentful or weary without a clear reason why. With a little introspection, we realise we have been holding unrealistic expectations about our progress, or fearfully expecting the worst in every situation.
Getting clear about your expectations – and consciously balancing them – can make your journey to success simple and painless. You consciously balance an expectation by not letting your emotions get attached to any one outcome.
By consciously not getting attached to specific outcomes, you will be able to work consistently and steadily toward a goal, and make the journey much smoother.
This state of detachment can also be beneficial to your ultimate goal. Though you may have an idea of where you want to end up, would you be devastated if you ended up with a different (but equally good – or better) result? Chances are you would still feel an immense amount of satisfaction about your accomplishments.
It takes practice to feel comfortable balancing your expectations, but it gets easier as you go along. Eventually it will be second nature for you to remain optimistic yet realistic – which keeps you focused and motivated.
BUILDING SUCCESS
MUSCLES WITH
DISCIPLINE
If you are like most people, one of the biggest reasons you have not yet achieved the success you desire is because you are not disciplined. In this age of instant gratification, we are accustomed to getting what we want right NOW. The thought of working diligently on a goal for weeks, months, or even years is a little depressing. But without discipline, we are at the mercy of our circumstances and we will continue to be at their mercy. “Once you get into a rut, you need tremendous discipline to pull yourself out of it.”
This process is no different for your goals, whatever they may be. It takes tremendous discipline at the beginning of the journey because you are not used to taking action on your goals. You will need to push yourself to do the things that need to be done.
Many of us give up at this stage because it seems too hard, and we believe it will always be this hard. We forget that we humans are incredibly adaptive creatures. We can get used to almost anything. Remember, we simply got used to not trying. We settled into a state of acceptance about living a mediocre life, about abandoning our dreams, about believing the people who told us we would never be successful.
Make a solemn vow to yourself right now. Promise that you will keep taking action, keep working on improving yourself as a person, and keep striving for more happiness and success in whatever you do. Promise yourself that you will do what needs to be done on a daily basis – even if you do not feel like it. If you can keep those promises, you will be astounded by the changes that take place in your life.
BY CAPT SAM ADDAIH (RTD)
