Goal-setting is one of those things that seems like it should be very simple, but can often cause anguish and aggravation. Even worse, if it is not done productively it can convince us that we are doomed to failure and prompt us to give up on our dreams forever.
The number one mistake that most people make when goal-setting is reaching too high right from the start. There is nothing wrong with reaching high. However, Will Edwards believes that, what most people fail to consider is the PROCESS of growth and development that must take place between where they begin and where they would like to end up.
Many people try to make large leap when they set their goals. They want to transform themselves from a position of lack and fear to a position of power and success in a short period of time, and it is just not likely.
The good news is that every large goal can be broken down into smaller, more manageable goals. If your goal is to climb the world’s highest mountain, you will first need to gain some experience in mountain climbing, get into the best shape of your life, and so on.
Successful goal-setting is as easy as learning how to identify the mini-goals that compose each larger goal, and focusing your efforts on those first. That does not mean you cannot keep your larger goal in mind and keep pushing yourself to reach it. However, giving most of your attention to the smaller steps along the journey will result in less stress and much quicker progress.
Take a look at the vision for your life, and then ask yourself how this big achievement might be broken down into smaller steps. If you can come up with some reasonable action steps you can take immediately, you will gain confidence with each small achievement you make. As your confidence grows and you gain experience and knowledge, your action steps will automatically become bigger and bolder, and so will your results.
While you may be tempted to set a timeframe for accomplishing your goals, Will Edwards would advise caution. It is okay to have an idea about when you will reach your goals because it can definitely keep you motivated and focused. But it can also backfire if you do not see results quickly enough and make you give up out of sheer impatience.
What we said in the segment about expectations last week also applies here. Be reasonable and balanced about your goals. Just like you cannot expect to make a giant leap from “here” to “there”, you also cannot expect to accomplish everything overnight. There are two good ways to keep your goal-setting balanced.
First, focus on the sense of accomplishment you get from every step you take. Rather than pinning your satisfaction only on the big goal you have in mind, allow yourself to feel good about the progress you are making toward that goal. Feel proud about the great job you are doing and really allow yourself to enjoy the journey.
Second, do not worry about the timeframe. Instead of setting a timeframe, simply commit to working steadily and enthusiastically on each small action step. Do not become impatient if you do not see results immediately – in fact, let the ACTIONS themselves be their own rewards. Feel good that you are strengthening your self-discipline and growing more completely into the person you were meant to be. Believe it or not, it is very rewarding to take this type of attitude.
TAKING ACTION
If your attitude is like the yeast added to your bread recipe, then ACTION is like the heat from the oven that merges all the ingredients and transforms them into a delicious treat.
There is merit in developing a mind-set of success, in adopting a positive attitude, and in learning to love yourself. These habits can continue to serve you in positive ways even when you are not working toward a goal.
As important as that is, action is undoubtedly a crucial aspect of success. You can set goals and change your mind-set until you are extremely exasperated but if you never take action, nothing will change in your physical surroundings.
ENDING PROCRASTINATION
Many of us fear taking action. We love making lists, forming plans and learning new techniques but when it comes to putting it all into motion, we freeze. We procrastinate. We hesitate. We find excuses not to work on our goals anymore.
Or, we do take action, but not on the important matters. We do more research, we refine our plans, we keep ourselves very busy so it seems like we are taking action – but we are actually just killing time.
The most common reason for this fear are: fear of success, low self-worth, worries about what others will think, and surprisingly fear of commitment.
We are afraid that once we begin moving forward we will be officially locked into our goal and we are suddenly forced to sink or swim. If we can simply avoid taking action, we can remain safely in the planning stage and not risk anything. We can convince ourselves that we did all we could, but it just did not work out, there were circumstances beyond our control – so it is not our fault that we are not successful.
“The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they cannot find them, make them.” George Bernard Shaw enunciates.
There is also another possibility, another reason why taking action seems so hard: sheer intimidation. This fear is often greatly reduced by setting reasonable goals, but we can also be irrationally fearful about moving forward even if our goals seem manageable. The most effective way to deal with a fear of taking action is to simply disregard it and take action anyway.
The fear of taking action almost ALWAYS vanishes shortly after you begin moving forward. You suddenly realise that you were worrying over nothing, and you actually begin to enjoy making progress. If you keep with it long enough and frequently enough, exhilaration takes over and you find you cannot hold yourself back any longer. What a wonderful feeling that is.
MAKING ACTION STEPS FOCUSED
However – make sure your action steps are focused. Taking random action can be a good start sometimes, but ultimately you will be going in circles. Instead, take a few minutes to identify the key steps that will create results. Think about the actions that will attract opportunities, get the attention of those in a position to help you, and create steady progress.
Then keep up with this process, gradually increasing the size or magnitude of your steps. If you do not see immediate results, do not despair. Keep at it and in a very short period of time you should be feeling much more confident and eager to keep going.
MAKING ROOM FOR WHAT YOU WANT
Sacrifice is one of those concepts that seems unappealing at first. We do not like to “give up” anything – especially not for the fleeting hope that it might be replaced with something better at an undetermined time in the future.
Our perception of sacrifice is usually what makes it seem so unappealing. What can make it easier is a neat little trick Will Edwards learned years ago: focus on what you are GAINING, not on what you are LOSING. It is all about your perception.
If you think you have to be miserable now in order to be successful later, that is exactly how you will end up feeling. If, on the other hand, you make a decision to feel happy about the changes you are making in your life, you will focus naturally on the benefits rather than the inconveniences. The “inconveniences” do not have to be massive, by the way. The important thing is balance. Be willing to sacrifice what you do not need for something you really want. Rather than focusing on what you are giving up, focus on what you are gaining in the long run.
